Perrin's Peak

I should warn you that I was in a very belligerent mood when I wrote this so there is a fair amount of swearing. If your sensibilities are easily offended, read no further.

My friend Alicia and I attempted to summit Perrin's Peak the other morning. It is an unassuming little peak I can see from my dining room window. It is unassuming until one attempts to summit it under the guidance of the fuck-wad who had the audacity to write a book on hikes in this area. If I actually ever meet him (his name I can not even be bothered to remember he has pissed me off one too many times) I am going to kick him hard in the shins, tell him I think he's an egotistical dick-head, slap him across the face with my gloves and challenge him to a duel. His hikes never work because by about the fourth paragraph of his description of the hike these words ALWAYS crop up. "At this time the trail ends. Look around for a pile of deer scat and head in that direction until you come to a tree. Take a left at the tree and head straight up the neared or steepest hill. Keep climbing until you come to a dead end or fall to your death. You are almost there!" If this ass-hole can get published then I sure as shit can and when I do I'm going to hunt him down, shove my book in his face and tell him to suck it.