Does that make me a blogger slut?

Kudos to rebhotmama for being the first to post on our official blog. As you know, I am not a big poetry fan but I like to think that despite the fact I will be 44 in 4 days I still have a tiny little bit of an open mind so I went ahead and read the poem. I liked it. It flowed so easily, just like my mind does sometimes when I'm walking with my dog. The descriptions were so right on, I especially liked the line "Blue is the ocean of my love in which you dive deep, ignoring the warning signs". You are a writing goddess, rebhotmama, and someday I want to be just like you! Here's the thing... it didn't rhyme, aren't poems supposed to rhyme? (You do know I'm kidding, right?)
Like I said in the e-mail, I want this blog to be a place where we can post our stuff, whatever it may be, even poetry so the rest of us can critique it, give suggestions or just read and have a good laugh. Let's try to be as supportive as possible, even to those of us who insist on posting poetry and as constructive as possible and let's have fun!
Speaking of fun and poetry, I have a poem I was going to read at the Poetry Slam but since I was denied the chance I will post it here just so you all know what you missed by being so lame.

SMOKING DECAF
They sit on the sidewalk
They smoke
They talk
Why is it the conversations of smokers
always seems so much more
intense?
Decaf mocha with whip
Why do they have to yell?
In a place full of connoisseurs
I am an enigma
Decaf?
Why bother?
The smoking conversationalists
could have an interesting debate
over my caffeine shortcomings
They could take it to airy heights
and then jump on my chest i
at the end of a semantic free fall
Just sit on the sidewalk
Fill your lungs with poison
Leave me out of it...
I like the taste

Yeah, now that I have written it out like this I realize I am really not a poet, and that's okay.

The other thing I am going to post is an exercise we did at the last meeting which myself and two others attended. The results were hilarious and if my two cohorts could post theirs as well you will see what I mean. The prompt was you are trying to lose weight and decide to keep a weekly diet journal. Write at least four entries that show your progress (or lack thereof).

Here's mine

July 1: Today is the day! I am sick of being able to see my ass out of the corner of my eye when I walk so I am going on a diet and I really mean it! Six months from now I will be slim and trim! I have a couple of books on dieting to choose from but I think that rather than follow just one I'm going to kind of mix and match because I know for a fact I can not live on just carrot juice and sardines for six months but I could do it every couple of days. Anyway, this is my plan and maybe at the end of this I might be able to write my own book! Then I'll be slim and trim and rich!
July 7: One week in and I have to say that this is really hard. I was so irritated yesterday because I really wanted some chocolate but my husband had thrown it all out so I was reduced to going to the grocery store in a big floppy hat with big sunglasses on to get some and the reason I had to do it like that was because he told all the cashiers to refuse to sell me chocolate should I attempt to buy it. And yes, he can do that. He's so smarmy and charming that all he had to do was flash his dimples at those airhead cashiers and they would do anything for him They caught me. I have no chocolate. Damn him. I swear he's more excited about me losing weight than I am.
July 15: I have lost 20 pounds and I know I should be happy but I'm too busy to really care. It's war is what it is. Those cashiers have become a bunch of militant diet Nazis thanks to my ever-loving husband and it's forced me to take drastic action. Every day he goes down to the store and gives them an updated list of what I can and can not eat and they post those damn lists everywhere with a picture of me right next to them. This is forcing me to get creative and even conniving. I paid the neighbor kid $20 to get me some oreos the other day. It made me feel dirty and it didn't even work. My husband seems to anticipate my every move. But I will stay strong. I will succeed. I will get some chocolate if it kills me... or him.
Oct 1: Well, it worked. I am slim and trim. I am also in amazing shape thanks to the Navy Seal-esque training I have put myself through in the last 6 week. It was necessary and although I am pleased with the results I have to say the motivation was less than admirable. My husband had effectively cut off every chocolate supply line available to me so I devised a plan that involved scaling the wall of the grocery store in the dead of night, locating the main ventilation duct and dropping to the floor in a Mission Impossible manner with ropes and caribeaners and gymnastics of a sort I could not have performed without the grueling training I had put myself through. My target, the cookie aisle was attained. I had my pick of whatever I wanted so I grabbed the nearest chocolate covered whatever and ate until I felt like puking, which I did before making my escape. Now I do believe I am over the whole chocolate obsession. I have also kicked my husband's ass in arm wrestling a number of times and got him to lift the embargo so I would say this diet has been a success.

There you go.